I read this post yesterday by my writing idol, Meagan Francis, and I found myself nodding in agreement at the computer while I ignored my still-awake children giggling upstairs.
Yes! I thought. Kids should play outside!
Yes! I thought. Nothing wrong with kicking them out!
Yes! I thought. I should be able to sit back with a nice cold drink while they run around!
As I’ve written about before, I am a believer in letting kids be kids, whether that means kicking them outside or teaching them a little independence in play so mama can get some work done.
But….
It’s easier said than done.
And I have to admit, I’ve really been struggling with this one.
Take last week, for example. We returned home after a full morning of library story time, dropping lunch off to Ben, picking up some preschool papers, and grocery shopping. We still had a little time to kill before lunch, so out to the swing set we went.
And I, already exhausted and feet swelling bigger than my stomach, decided to take a stand. I pushed them on the swings for a little bit, “ran” after them playing soccer until my belly started to ache, and played with them on the slide.
After about 15 or 20 minutes, I made my move.
I picked up the free People magazine (Is She or Isn’t She? Princess Kate Baby News!) I had gotten from the library and pointed towards the bench under our tree. I told myself I had every right to to do this. I am the mother, for cryin’ out loud. I am 7 months pregnant, and I look like I’m 10. I can sit down for a few minutes while they play. Nothing.wrong.with.that.
“Ok, girls, mama’s going to go sit down for a while. You guys stay and play.”
I turned my back, walked the short 10 steps to the bench and settled in with my magazine. It took all of 0.2 seconds before they were both there, climbing over top of me, clamoring for me to come back, ripping pages out of the magazines.
“Why are you over here? You have a whole swing set, a sandbox, balls to kick. GO PLAY!!!” I cried in exasperation.
“But maaaammmaaaaa we want to be wiiiiithhhh youuuuuuuuuuu.”
Sigh.
The clingy whines have continued. Yesterday I had to embark on a major house clean (because, don’t ya know, I had worked a measly 8 hours the day before, somehow resulting in a bomb going off in our house. Seriously, how does the house go to pieces after me working ONE day?? Anyone else notice this??) and the girls were driving me crazy. Instead of just playing somewhere, they followed me around room to room, basically parking themselves at my feet and bickering. I spent more time breaking up fights, peeling them off of my legs and each other, and “encouraging” them to go and play than I did cleaning.
So.
Frustrating.
What’s even more frustrating is that they only do this for me. Never, never do they act like this when Ben’s home or alone with them. They will play happily for hours in close proximity but out of his hair, a picture of perfect angels, completely making me look like a horrible mother when I try to tell Ben what’s it like for me.
Traitors.
So naturally, I’m wondering if anyone else has encountered these issues. Do you send your kids outside to play by themselves? And if so, at what ages do you think it’s “safe?” Mine are almost 4 and 2, and although we live on a dirt road on 5 acres, our house is close the road on two sides, so I worry about them…
What do you think? Is it time to reclaim “adult time” and kick the kids outside?
Look at her. Smugly taking over my bench...
Tiny Blue Lines
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My son just turned 4 and we have recently let him start playing outside by himself and it’s fabulous! We have a back yard that is completely fenced in and I can see him from my kitchen window or the sliding window in the living room, thus enabling me to cook dinner or actually be on the computer in peace. I do make it a point to actually open the door and check on him every five minutes or so.
You’ve described my life perfectly, right down to the “I want to be with yooooouuuuu” whine. I try to accept that some days but other days I just want to be left alone so I can complete a task without interruption.
My kids are 5 and 3 and I let them play in the backyard by themselves while I make dinner. I have two windows in the kitchen so I can see them and they are good about staying back there and coming in to pee, wash their hands, etc. I do worry about the deer (I joke that they think my son is a huge chicken nugget) but so far so good and it gives ME a chance to breathe after the craziness of the day!
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I do think its ok to send the kids outside to play but I am keenly aware of how dangerous that is nowadays. I have read about 3 and 4 year old children being kidnapped while they were playing outside in their yard. Some of these children were never seen again. It just scares me to think about what can happen in the 5 or 10 minutes I am trying to get some alone time.
I honestly do not approve of toddlers playing outside alone. If you are still watching them constantly it is kind of different but if you’re only snagging a look every now and again it’s a no-no. Children require constant attention because they love to test boundaries. Just because you’re allowing them to play outside with their swing sets does not mean they are not going to test you. It only takes a second for them to run into the road, get snatched by a stranger, fall off the monkey bars and break their leg because they were not playing with them correctly.
I will probably not be allowing my kids to play outside alone until the age of 10. I babysit my friends 8 (almost 9) year old and I see some toddler-ish tendencies in her, and she is the smartest in her class.
I only let my 3 almost 4 year old outside (in the back yard) if he is with my 6 and 8 year old. If they are not outside with him, I only let him go on the deck with the door latched so he can’t go into the backyard. He is good about not going into the street but you just never know the crazies that are out there!!!
I do. But they must stay either on the front porch or the back yard. Neither are fenced in but I always leave the door open so I can hear and see, and we have tons of windows. I have a 5 and 1 year old, my 5 year old is my little helper and extra hands/eyes! I agree they should be “kicked out” to play, but I do worry about their safety in these days so they must stay close and I’m always watching as I get dinner ready or relaxing, etc. They don’t usually beg me to come play because I’ve raise them to know that not every moment is mommy playtime. I need (deserve!) to relax and also be able to get things done! As long as you know your child is safe, absolutely send them out to play!
My my, this sounds like my house! It can get a little frustrating at times, yes indeed. I must admit that I do allow the kids to play in the backyard alone because its enclosed. I still worry about them with us being in the city because I have heard too many stories of abduction. Most of the time I end up out there with them because I am constantly checking on them and can not get my work done or rest my mind.
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