As I gear up for baby any day now (no, he’s still not named), I am particularly inspired by the #2 rule of French parenting, as brought to you by Bringing Up Bebe:
Le Pause.
Le Pause is a deceptively simple strategy employed, it seems, as a natural and instinctual part of French parenting. Le Pause allows French parents to enjoy babies who sleep through the night at 2 or 3 weeks old, babies who are content to snuggle alone in their cribs, babies who, as if by magic, learn to soothe themselves.
What is this great and powerful tool, you ask?
Please, please, for the love of all that is good, what is it??
You guys are going to hate me. Either that, or you have already been using Le Pause in some shape or form with much success and will wonder, “Yeah, what’s so secret about that?”
Le Pause is simply that.
Pausing.
We’re talking in the middle of the night, or in the afternoon, anytime 24/7–simply not rushing to your baby’s side the instant he/she makes a noise or stirs.
We’re talking pausing and letting him or her learn to work things out for themselves.
We’re not talking about letting a baby scream and cry, but simply giving him a minute or two to adjust, to realize his surroundings, to decide if he really needs us.
We’re talking giving babies a little breathing room.
Employing Le Pause would look a little something like this:
2:00 AM. Baby boy stirs, whimpers a little.
I lumber out of my sleep, ready to swoop in with all of my maternal mama ways. Oh, and my milk.
The husband reaches out, stops me by lightly grabbing my arm.
“Wait a sec,” he whispers. “See if he’ll go back to sleep.”
So we wait, listening to him rustle in his bassinet beside our bed, watching him look around in wonder at the moonlight streaming in. He takes it all in, his eyelids becoming heavier and heavier as he drifts off again for a few more blessed hours.
That would be a miracle, no?
Oui.
I’m sure it won’t exactly go down like that, and I’m sure my baby, like my others, will want to eat around the clock, but I do plan on trying this a bit more than I have in the past. I’ve pretty much believed in the thought that if a baby wakes up at all, he/she needs something and I need to provide it. Usually, in the form of a diaper change and a feeding. But it makes a lot of sense to me to allow a baby time to go through those awake/sleep cycles without rushing in, to let him learn that he is safe, to learn to adjust on his own.
It’s not like it’s rocket science.
It’s just a little…
Le Pause.
Anyone out there already use a form of Le Pause? What do you think about it? Is it good to let a baby learn to soothe, or do you believe a baby needs to be picked up instantly?
Tiny Blue Lines
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A minute or two, sure. Longer than that, when they’re infants, not for me. There’s a difference between what I call “settling noises” and flat out crying. When they’re truly distressed and crying, I always picked them up. But minor league fussing? That I’d let slide, especially as they got older
Musings of a Writer Mom recently posted..The beginnings
My sister and I have 5 kids between us and they all slept through the night at around 5 weeks of age. We kinda just thought it was genetics (even though my brother has 3 children also, two of whom still don’t sleep through the night), but after we read this book, the light went on because we’d been doing “Le Pause” from birth with our kids without even realizing it! On the other hand, my brother and his wife jump up every time the kids make a sound and my SIL breastfeeds the baby (and did the same with the older 2) everytime she cries which trained her to need that in order to be soothed.
Hannah recently posted..30 Weeks
The breastfeeding thing is huge I think–I totally did that with both of my girls, and I’m trying really hard not to with Jake!
I love this idea. I am not into crying it out, but there is probably a balance…right? My second totally didn’t want comfort when he stirred–I was thinking he was like my first, who ate every two hours for a year. But when he would kind of wake a bit and I tried to nurse him, he’d shove me off. It taught me a little about waiting. Let us know how this works!
Kiki recently posted..Insidious Babies