You know those days when you just feel on top of your game in the mom world?
When you’re all like yeah, I got this, I can hold a baby and switch a load of laundry and make a phone call and feed the kids lunch and scrub a toilet in between? Look at me and my bad mommy self!
That was me today.
Until it wasn’t.
See, the day started off pretty well. The kids and I enjoyed a delicious breakfast of eggs and my scrumptious chocolate zucchini muffins (omg).
Deliciouso.
I cleaned the bathrooms, the kitchen, switched laundry, fed the kids, fed Jacob, got everyone ready, changed everyone’s clothes for the second time after 1) Jacob puked 2) Mya spilled her yogurt all over herself 3) Ada followed suit.
I didn’t yell or lose my patience. Heck, I even joked with the kids and we were smiling and the sun was shining and life felt good.
Things started to get a little hairy around noon, when I had fifteen minutes to get everyone out the door and a doctor I have been trying to touch base with to interview for an article for Parents emailed.
I have a few minutes, if you wanted to talk now? she wrote.
Crap, I thought. There is no way I can do this. Kids aren’t dressed, there are still lunch dishes out, Jacob is crying.
But I did it anyways. Because I was trying to prove (to myself? to you? to who?) that I can do this. I can make a career out of writing. Tons of women are work-at-home moms. No problem. My avoiding the hospital is not going to go to waste, dang it.
We made it to preschool and I lugged Jacob in his carseat with the girls in to chat to the teacher for a bit. We did some coloring and playdough and as I laughed with some of Ada’s classmates, I noticed something was amiss with Jacob…
He seemed rather free…
And something was missing on his chest…
Something like the straps…
To.his.car.seat.
Oh my gosh.
I had forgotten to buckle Jacob in to his car seat.
I had thrown him into the car, driven down the road to school, swung him out of the car and literally dragged him into the school, all while he was unbuckled.
With horror, images of what could have gone wrong flashed through my mind. At six months and twenty pounds, he barely fits in the seat anyways. At any moment, he could have sat up and toppled out, right on to the pavement as I lifted him out of the car. He could have fallen out in the car. What if we had gotten in an accident??
I profusely thanked God that nothing had happened as shame and embarrassment crept over me. I quickly snuck a glance over at the two teachers in the room, hoping they wouldn’t notice what I had done.
And to think, that morning I thought “I had this.”
Let this be a warning to me.
Yes, we all make mistakes, I get that.
But you better believe that I’m not going to get so caught up in acting like I can do everything that I make a mistake like that again.
Tiny Blue Lines
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One of the things that I love about you is that you are so honest. You say the things that I imagine other mamas are afraid to say because they/we don’t want to be judged or seem like a “bad” parent. The reality is that as much as we love our children we are human and we make mistakes and hope and pray that they don’t cost us and end up just being warnings or reminders. And the things about sharing them is that sometimes they can become warnings or reminders for others…
p.s. Those muffins. Can I have one?
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Oh yeah, I’ve done that one. So many times, in fact, that I eventually taught my daughter to yell “Wait! I’m not buckled!” if I forgot. That’s only helpful once they can talk, though. One of the brightest days of my parenting career was the day my youngest child learned to buckle his own car seat.
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Deep Breathe. I have done that before. Luckily nothing bad happened but I do know that fear of all the possible wrongs that could have happened. We make mistakes it doesn’t make us bad parents it makes us human.
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Quite a few years ago my three little girls and I stopped at a camper sales lot. After we looked at a few units we decided to leave. I knew the girls had gotten into the car but didn’t realize the youngest hadn’t shut her door nor put her seat belt on. As I turned the car to leave the lot the door flung open and she almost fell out of the car. I felt like the worst mom in the world. After all, what kind of mom doesn’t make sure her children are safe and secure before the car moves? Right? You know? Same question you probably asked yourself. I could have ran over my own daughter. I felt like puking just thinking of the what-ifs. Still makes me shudder. I believe every time we make a mistake it teaches us to be more careful in the future. Maybe that one time mistake actually saved hundreds of future mistakes. By telling others it helps them be more careful. We learn by making mistakes. Just lucky it wasn’t tragic. The good lord was watching that day.
I Tiny Blue,
Anything could have happened your right, but it didn’t. It can happen to the best of us, next time you wont forget believe me.
Just be grateful and blessed that little Jacob was ok.
All the best
Bea
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