Well, I attempted to resolve this whole job thing on Friday by giving my boss a call to talk things over…with no avail. She didn’t answer, nor did she call me back all day.
So now I’ve gone the whole weekend pretending not to think about it, all the while stressing and wondering what is in store for me next.
I don’t know what the ultimate decision will be, but I have resolved that if the verdict is for me to say good-bye to the job, there a few things I will do differently at home.
1) I will be more of an intentional mother. I’ve written before how I’ve struggled with not really preparing for motherhood as a job, and this thought is along the same vein. I can’t do anymore lazy-bones day, lobbing along as a mom and reacting to anything and everything my kids do. I want more structure, planning, and intention to our days.
2) Get up earlier. This is huge for me. I admit that I struggle greatly with the whole lack of sleep thing. My husband is better at getting up in the middle of the night with the kids–ask him, he’ll gladly tell you. Working nights and being pregnant has just made things about a thousand times worse. So if this job change thing happens, I will have to seriously work at re-training myself to wake up early to write and prepare for my day.
3) Give this writing thing a real shot. I want to really give writing a chance. A real chance, to throw myself into it with the same passion and dedication I know I once possessed. Somewhere in the journey from high school to college I lost a lot of my “zest” for life–I’d always been a goal-oriented and driven individual, but I feel like I lost sight of what I really wanted…and ending up sort of, just drifting.
4) Find more activities for the girls. I admit, I’ve been slacking a bit on this one. I’ve been feeling fat and tired and lazy and content to just chill at home with the girls. The result has been a bit frazzlement on both ends. The truth is, I think they’re bored. I’m all about kids being kids and just, you know, playing, but I do think getting out of the house now and then is good for them.
So that’s the plan. And now if I can just get a little closure on this whole thing…we’ll see what this week will hold..